we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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