I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
