so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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