We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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