It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
