You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
