I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
