He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
two words...techno handjob
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
