Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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