I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
