Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
