Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
