you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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