are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
