tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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