I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Randomize
