He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
they're like a gay fantastic four
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
