I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
