Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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