Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
