I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
did you just send me my own nude
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You don't make any sense
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