uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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