Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
