It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
