so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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