Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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