Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
