This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
