you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
