i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
