chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
