Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Sober January is a disaster.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
