i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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