just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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