ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
