he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Damn victory sex feels great
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
