He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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