Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
