maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
