so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
