I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
