Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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