Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
