I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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