Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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