i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
