best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
you never un-have a 4some
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
