Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
