so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
