How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
