where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
