Someone shit on the floor
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
