Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
