Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
